Why my Single Era is my Best Era Yet
As someone who considers herself a lover to her core, the thought of being single has always been terrifying to me. I had my first serious boyfriend (as serious as you can be in high school) at fifteen. Since then, between the ages of fifteen and twenty four, I had been truly single for maybe a collective six months. I always felt like if I didn’t have a relationship in my life, I would risk being lonely, unloved, or rejected. It took me almost ten years to learn the truth: I would really just be free.
After a brutal breakup late last year, I took to dating apps. Eager to get out there and meet new people, I swiped and swiped to no avail. After a few weeks of endless swiping I came to one significant realization: the love of my life was not on a dating app. After too many conversations that were basically just me being asked to “send pics” or “come over (at 2am)”, I had had enough. I deleted all the apps and never looked back.
In the time since being off the apps and halting my active search for love, I’ve learned how amazing it is to truly just have time to myself. My phone is constantly on do not disturb, which allows me to fully throw myself into whatever I’m doing at the moment. I’ve taken on so many projects lately, from going back to school to trying to read fifty books in a year, and I’ve found I can sit for hours with my phone on silent and not feel the need to constantly be in contact with someone. It feels like I’ve become at peace with my own company, in a new, all-encompassing way.
Another great thing is that I’ve realized how much love I have in my life aside from a romantic partnership. I’ve truly tuned into the pure nature of familial love, love from my girls, and love from and for myself. I’m taking all the admiration and tenderness I had in my heart, and instead of giving it to the wrong men over and over, I’m giving it to ME!!! I’ve been hanging out with my mom more, and enjoying late nights with my girlfriends - all without having to constantly update someone on where and what I’m doing at any given moment. I’ve become way more present in the moments spent with loved ones, and have done a ton of reflecting on what love really is, and what kinds of love I need in my life right now.
One of the best things about being in my single era now is that I can really just be a girl in the world. I can go where I want when I want, eat what I want, watch what I want to watch, sleep when I want, for however long I want, and the list goes on and on. I feel like I’m floating through life. I have so much more room in my mind to focus on my next big moves, while still appreciating all the little moments in between. I’m reading, I’m writing, I’m working out, and overall just working on myself. I feel like the baddest version of myself that I’ve ever been, and I don’t see this changing any time soon.
Overall, I’m loving being unbothered and flourishing. Although there’s no romantic love in my life at this current time, I have no doubt that there is unconditional love all around me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.